Yuku free message boards

Hiiii!! (((HUG))) Welcome to my thread!! I hope Josh comes by too, I'll try to keep it light and put happy things in, but when there's an apptmt change or something to do w/ my operation I will tell him so he knows where to teleport to!!

Hi, Josh,
I just want to clearify for u why I am jinxed and cursed and why so many ppl have bad stuff happen after they know me all but u, Frodo, Michael and Elijah, u guys are safe, pretected, that's why I need U to pretect me from other bad guys **Copied from the I'm A Bad Grobie" thread**:

My 2 best friends who would come and get me and take me to the Eagles, or out to do Karaoke and other stuff, one died of a heart attack due to overwork, allergies and stress, her heart just gave out. She was 47, and last month she would have been 52. My other best friend Mike he choked and died unnesecarily, there was help available (I don't want to say too much about that) and he was 55.

But anyway, it goes back to right after my cousin got a hold of me and told me to dump all of my fri3ends, quit my job I held, and give up ALL my pastimes, or the dead relatives (my grand pa had just died and it was after his funeral) would do it for me, and I only had a year or I'd be on the street under some bridge somewhere bc the family was thru and I wasn't supposted to tell my mom what he said but I did bc I was going to commit suicide bc I was told the whole family hated me and my parents (this was my mom's oldest brother's 2nd oldest kid saying this to me) and we were all losers.

Well, I did NOT dump friends, quit job or give up all pas times, needless to say, I lost my job I held, most (all but one) friends have died or have cancer now, and we don't do much for "pas time" now, and I hate that hag (Dad's mom) that I live w/ (not the greatest attitude of a Model Grobanite I realize but I told all this to Josh in the Read This thread) bc she thinks I'm a loser too, not even worth a cellphone which I got myself w/ money from working at the print shop and doing jobs for others (cleaning and stuff) and she even asked me why I'm like I am and why I collect the stuff I do and wear the stuff I do and have and like what I do, and she hates my cooking and also thinks I steal from her (I don't, wouldn't and have never).

Well, anyway, I think it's all due to the dead relatives doing just what my cousin said, I wonder how many more friends will get cancer just from knowing me...my doctor even got hurt, he's the one that got in that accident in Portland and they took his legs off bc they were crushed. But my cousin started the stupid ball rolling. I think my teeth are bad bc I am rotten, thx to him. That's why I cling to Josh, Michael, Frodo and Elijah Wood.

My mom and dad know the whole story and they both want to ship my cousin off to Nowhere he can come back from (FIGURATIVELY OF COURSE!!!) for doing that. But that's why songs like "NWIA" and "YAL" are so meaningful, Josh and Michael and Frodo and Elijah are there, they understand me even if I'm the only one that can see them. Sorry to ramble, but I said it was a long story and I get wound up. That's why I photoshop me w/ Josh and them alot, I hope he knows I see him as a pretective influence and I hope he knows it's a good thing in my book.

This is for all 4 of u Josh, U, Michael, Frodo and Elijah!

Can't Find You



I walk in the dark so all alone
I feel like I'm the only one
who is in this place with no light or sun...
sometimes I can't find you
when the nightmares come.

I feel your presence in the room somewhere
and reach out my hand to see if you're there.
Sometimes I feel you take hold of my hand
altho most people don't understand...
but sometimes I need you
to help me to stand.

Sometimes it's as if I'm falling down
a long dark tunnel with no solid ground
sometimes I'm floating in a stormy sea
and I don't know where dry land will be.

You're there when I need you most of the time
and you usually give me some kind of sign
that even if you're not in the room you're still near
and that you haven't totally disappeared.
Your songs are like food for the ears
your voice is soothing and calms all my fears
but sometime I can't find you
and I can feel unshed tears
when I'm scared or distressed
I wish you would appear
and then I would know I was safe again.
When I see your eyes shining with light
that's when I know you can make things all right.

Siena Iman Vaisa Jackson* (c) 4-21-2008
For Frodo, Michael, Elijah and Josh